It's in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you
sign your unemployment check. You're a man who likes to do things your
own way. And on those special Saturdays when driving is permitted, you
want it in your car.

It's that special feeling of a zero-emissions wind at your back and a
road ahead meandering with possibilities. The kind of feeling you get
behind the wheel of the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from
Congressional Motors.

All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the
mandatory American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire
Congress to design it. We started with the same reliable 7-way hybrid
ethanol-biodeisel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant
behind the base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the
sassy styling pizazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back
again -- with a vengeance.

We've subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest.
With its advanced Al Gore-designed V-3 under the hood pumping out 22.5
thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit muscle, you'll never be late
for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or strap
on the optional jumbo mizzenmast, and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition
easily exceeds 2016 CAFE mileage standards. At an estimated 68 MPG,
that's a savings of nearly $18.00 per month in fuel cost over the 2011
Pelosi.

Even with increased performance we didn't skimp on safety. With
11-point passenger racing harnesses, 15-way airbags, and mandatory
hockey helmet, you'll have the security knowing that you could survive a
45 MPH collision even if the GTxi SS/Rt were capable of that kind of
illegal speed.

But the changes don't stop there. Sporty mag-style aluminum-foil
hubcaps and an all-new aggressive wedge shape designed by CM's Chief
Stylist Harry Reid slices through the wind like an omnibus spending
bill. It even features an airtight undercarriage to keep you and a
passenger afloat up to 15 minutes when in puddles -- even in the choppy
waters of a Cape Cod inlet. Available in a rainbow of bright color
choices to match any wardrobe, from Mexican Avocado to French Mustard.
Inside, a luxurious Navy-boat gray, all-velour Barney Frank
designed interior features thoughtful appointments like dashboard condom
and babyoil dispenser.

A special high capacity hatchback holds up to 300 aluminum cans, meaning
fewer trips to the redemption center. And the standard 3 speaker
Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band sound system bellows the latest hits
from the NPR when you insert your government-issued instant tax credit
card.

Best of all, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt is made right here in the
U.S.A. by fully card-checked unionized workers and Detroit 's famous
visionary jet-set managers. Even if you don't own one, you can enjoy the
patriotic satisfaction knowing you're supporting extravagant wages,
enormous benefits, private jets, and lavish political donations that
once again make the American car industry the envy (laughing-stock) of
the world.

But why not buy one anyway? With an MSRP starting at only
$62,999.99, it's affordable too. Don't forget to ask about dealer
incentives, rebates, tax credits, and wealth redistribution plans for
customers from dozens of qualifying special interest groups. Plus
easy-pay financing programs from Fanny Mae.

So take the bus to your local CM dealer today and find out why
the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the only car endorsed by
President Barack Obama.

One test drive will convince you that you'd choose it over the import
brands.

Even if they were still legal.

That was cute Mike! Sad, but cute!